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Woman, Rise.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the struggles that myself and my fellow sisters (and brothers) face day to day.  I have an intensely curious mind and when I see pain in myself or others I always want to know why, then figure out a way to troubleshoot it. 

My most recent 'struggle' has been in relation to men and dating. I have been meeting the most amazing men, seriously! I'm not on a single dating app but I've been meeting fantastic people...Though, none of them are the right fit.

The 'struggle' really isn't a struggle anymore because I've learned to be ok with things just not being a good fit. The true struggle was back when I would choose to commit to people who ultimately didn't really know me, love me or have my best interests at heart. 

In the past I would compromise my needs and ignore my intuition because I just wanted to be in a relationship so badly. I wanted someone to tell me I was wanted, loved, worthy and important. 

I would ignore the red flags that would ultimately lead to the end of my relationship anyway, just to acquire a few months (or years) of inauthentic comfort. 

In the past few years something has shifted in me. I am clear, strong and unapologetic. 

This has meant I've been alone more. A lot more. I go to dinners alone, movies, bike rides, music festivals, spend time reading solo, walking solo and enjoying my own company. 

The potential for a criticizing mind to pop in and tell me "You're broken, that's why you're single" or "No one will every want you, you're too (fill in the blank)" is no longer a possibility. 

It was a reality for many, many years BUT I have learned to rise the fuck up, step into my power, stop compromising what I need and just wait patiently. 

Wait for the magic to come. The results, the happiness, the fulfillment is already ours. We have to trust that. The real work is in quieting the mind in between the big and special moments in life that remind us we're lucky, we're alive and it's all going to be ok. 

Quiet the self-criticism. 

Quiet the negative self-talk. 

Quiet the self-limiting beliefs. 

Stop hurting yourself because you're unclear and your mind is untamed. 

Stop hurting yourself because you're unclear and your mind is untamed. 

Freedom, fulfillment and happiness comes when we can be humble enough to identify the patterns that we're creating in our lives and then take action to create new ones. 

New ones that serve our highest purpose. Ones that create the space for greatness! Ones that feel good vs make us feel heavy and shitty.  

How does one create the space in their life for greatness?

Good question. 

I love lists. My training as an NLP coach led me to a place (after months of conditioning myself) to identify the problem, commit to focusing on potential solutions, create a plan then execute. 

I do not live in the problem anymore. 

Think of all the valuable time you spend focusing on the problem you have. 

How much mental energy are you spending everyday that could be spent on the solution rather than ruminating, obsessing and unconsciously patterning yourself to focus on the negative?

Which, I'm sorry, I have to say, will only attract more bullshit. 

Our brains are INCREDIBLE organs that can heal and change when we simply shift our focus. 

It's that difficult and that easy. 

Identify the problem (your weight, your nutrition habits, your vices, your spending habits, your infidelity, your self-hate - whatever - then create a plan, focus your attention every damn day on that goal, how you're going to get there and do not give up until you do. 

Do you want to keep repeating the same defeating results? Of course not! Then groove new patterns, new neuropathways, create a new life for yourself. 

Woman, rise.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A major piece of my recovery as an addict (I've been addicted to everything at one point. Drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping, social media) has been in getting really comfortable being alone. 

I've had to learn to truly love and protect myself. I've learned to enjoy my own company more than I do others'. 

By living in that space rather than the subconscious belief that I'll be accepted, whole and worthy when someone else tells me I am, I am rising up. 

I don't see relationships that don't fit as failures. The more I say no and walk away from what doesn't feel right, the closer I get to what I really want. By not settling I am protecting my heart and life from unnecessary hurt and drama and keeping the space open for greatness. 

I will not settle. 

And I realize that it's going to take a really evolved, mature, conscious and wise man to recognize what's right in front of him, and those may be few and far between out there...and because I'm great on my own, that's ok. 

What's the alternative? Be with someone so you can go to brunch on Sunday, have a body lying next to you at night and have mediocre sex with for the next 2 - ? years? 

No thank you. 

Woman, rise. 

Or laying on your death bed and thinking to yourself "why didn't I just go for it? Go for the body, the career, the wealth, the family...? As one of my favourite house tracks preaches Regrets...we have no use for. 

I'm focusing on romance here mostly cause that's what's happening in my life right now. But the 'problem' could be anything. Health, finances, spirituality, family - whatever the problem is, the solution lies in our ability to get clear on what we want, work hard everyday toward that goal and don't ever settle until we achieve it. 

We have one life on this spinning ball of beautiful Earth. Make it count. 

Woman, rise. 

Be well with Hope,
Cassandra Hope

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