For many the holidays are a time to get incredibly excited about. Warm lights during dark evenings, comforting food and drinks, gatherings with your favourite loved ones and family and childhood memories of everyone putting in so much effort to make others feel loved and nurtured are what I believe makes Christmas so lovely for many across the globe.
Though what if you literally experienced none of that. What if Christmas was a dark time while growing up? Maybe there is some retraction during the holidays for those people and rightfully so.
If you've been following my journey, you already know that I grew up until the age of 12 with a mentally ill mother. She identified as someone who was 'really good at christmas' though to be honest, she sucked at it.
When I was as young as 6, she would shoo my older sister and I upstairs and away from the Christmas tree so she could take drugs, even going so far as having my older sister grab her pills from the freezer for her.
Hi all! This week I'm sharing about a topic that is near and dear...A topic that I feel many people struggle with and may be a BIG part of what keeps us stuck. I'm talking about Perfectionism.
When I say 'stuck' I mean not progressing. Still dealing with the same issues, same wants that go unmet, same goals that fall to the wayside.
As a personal trainer and wellness coach I teach people how and what to eat, how to move their bodies etc., but the really important work comes in teaching others how to identify the self-sabotage like belief systems, thoughts and that sneaky inner critic and then find ways to choose differently than they have in the past so they can achieve their goals, whatever they may be.
Why does this matter, and how can approaching cyclical patterns this way be beneficial?
Because we can't experience something new without doing something new.
So, what would an example of a cyclical pattern be that would be beneficial to identify and be brave enough to do...
I recently did a video on this topic and loved sharing my thoughts on this. It's an important topic and I encourage my clients and audience to ask as many questions as possible, because no two bodies or health situations are the same. I encourage people to question their symptoms in a non-judgemental way and investigate what the ideal path is for them to take in order to achieve great health.
Sometimes achieving great health includes weight loss.
I never encourage losing weight as a sole means of feeling self-worth or successful when it comes to being healthy, but rather as a piece of the equation.
As a holistic personal trainer, I often work with clients who want to become stronger, leaner, gain more energy, have more endurance and improve their mood...All AMAZING goals! Though none that can be achieved solely through working out. We must compliment each person's wellness regime with a tailored nutrition protocol in order to achieve long-lasting and true...
I have a mentor or sorts...someone who has stepped up to the task of showing up for me time and time again, over the past 16 years. He started out as my homeopath, but quickly became a teacher to me on all things personal development-wise.
I was 19 years old, and struggling with gut issues beyond belief. The work we did on the body was a small piece of the puzzle. Mostly, we began to work on developing my acute awareness of what I needed in all areas of my life, in order to feel calm, at peace, balanced and secure. Security especially, because I felt an immense amount of fear of abandonment due to my traumatic history with my biological mother.
So! We worked on what he called The Practical Spirituality course. I identified my needs in the areas of personal happiness, physical well-being, family, friends, spirituality, work, financial etc. I felt completely confused, and lost at times - no one had ever asked me to develop opinions on my needs before. I was...
I was 19 years old, had just returned from travelling Europe for several months with my best friend and it was my first time ever leaving Toronto. To say I was experiencing culture shock is an understatement. I was so in love with everything Europe showed me, the food, beaches, architecture, language, and vast diversity just a few hour drive away from each town I visited.
When I returned from Europe, I was underwhelmed with the small town I lived in that boasted strip malls, movie theatres and big chain restaurants that were the 'hot spots' for teenagers around those parts. I longed for something more, though I had no idea what that was or how I was going to get there.
It seemed all of the travellers I met while in Europe had gotten there, and paid for their trips by bartending and waitressing either in their home towns or in the towns they were visiting. It was a no-brainer, get a job downtown Toronto slinging drinks, make loads of cash and go back to Europe. Well, that was...
I was to stay there 4 days, and volunteer in the kitchen. I needed time, silence and space to sort out my head. I was turning 31, and I was nowhere near where I wanted to be in life. My dream of being a mother was torn away from me, and there was no happily ever after staring me in the face.
Early, on the third morning I was at Vipassana meditation centre, I awoke with an intense anxiousness I had not felt since arriving there. Until then, I was enjoying the dense, white snow up north, crisp quiet air on my walks and humble, yet delicious vegetarian food. Why did I all of a sudden want to leave so badly?
I swayed with the idea of telling the manager that I was going to leave a day early. My thoughts danced from whether I was being disrespectful or would not be honouring myself if I didn't listen to my heart.
I called him to tell him I was coming home early, though got his voicemail and told him there instead. I was about 90 mins north of home, a place where we...
My spiritual inquisition began at the age of 8, or 9. I would stare deeply into my own eyes, 2 inches away from my bedroom mirror, and ask myself "Who are you in there?" It was the first time I acknowledged a sense of being inside my body, and it felt mysterious, and good.
The trauma that I experienced while living in an alcoholic and physically abusive home lead me to be in such a depressed and anxious state that I began searching for answers...I wanted to know how I could find peace, self-acceptance and unconditional love because no matter where I went, or who I was with, I felt a void and emptiness in my heart, and that...I couldn't handle anymore.
At the age of 19, I walked into a little white house off College St near Little Italy, that had a sign out front that said "Brahma Kumari - Yoga Of The Mind" - I entered and learned that this was not a physical yoga practise, yet a sort of University on the theories of life, and human existence. They accepted everyone,...
There's a special kind of silence anxiety is suspended in. It's quiet and time slows down, similar to the experience when plunging into deep waters. Your eyes struggle to stay open and make sense of the world beneath the air. Difficult to speak, breathe.
Anxiety, for those who suffer from it, can be such an uncomfortable and difficult experience to explain that it often isn't. It could be confused by some who are observing the 'attack' that the person suffering is rude, socially awkward or odd.
Anxieties can, and do, pop up in the strangest of times. Sometimes, saying "thank you" to the clerk who served your coffee can feel overwhelming. Instead of a friendly and confident "thank you, have a nice day" like you observe others effortlessly and shamelessly offer, you're left with a struggle to use your vocal chords. Exiting the building couldn't come quickly enough. But why?
I remember having such debilitating social and personal anxieties that even getting ready for the day, like...
I remember exactly when I decided to be a personal trainer. It was grade 3, I was 8 years old and I was OBSESSED with Arnold Schwarzenegger. I would draw pictures of him as The Terminator (gawd I'm dating myself), and he had huuuge biceps. I wanted to be Linda (you know, the mom!). I would lecture my 8 year old girlfriends about putting salt on their apple slices, and would argue that walking IS indeed exercise. I was born to be a personal trainer and health coach, no doubt on that.
Years later, in grade 8, I chose to follow a freelance personal trainer for a day on 'Take Your Kid To Work' day ... Do they still do that? Anyway, I loved her. She was beautiful, french and had a jam packed day of subway rides around the downtown core to teach classes, personal train and even found time to train little me! I puked, passed out in the women's washroom and then asked for more.
That was it. I was in love and wanted nothing more than to be a freelance trainer that bounced around the city as...
It's believed that those who suffer from chronic, and debilitating gut pain have often been exposed to high-stress (work, home, social) and/or have been the victims of abuse and/or neglect. The gut-brain connection is so strong that it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish between which is causing which symptoms...Is the gut stress leading to neuroendocrine symptoms or vice versa?
In my opinion, the best approach is to address it all; The physical mental, and spiritual (should that be an area one is open to exploring), in order to find peace and balance again.
The 3 are interconnected. The energies from each area lead to one another. For example, we can use all of the supplements we want to address IBS and poor gut health, but without addressing the patterns, belief systems and rooted behaviours that may be contributing to the inflammatory situations, we will most likely be taking 2 steps forward, and one step back.
I WOULD LOVE FOR US TO GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER...
STAY CONNECTED WITH ME HERE!