I've been thinking a lot lately about the struggles that myself and my fellow sisters (and brothers) face day to day. I have an intensely curious mind and when I see pain in myself or others I always want to know why, then figure out a way to troubleshoot it.
My most recent 'struggle' has been in relation to men and dating. I have been meeting the most amazing men, seriously! I'm not on a single dating app but I've been meeting fantastic people...Though, none of them are the right fit.
The 'struggle' really isn't a struggle anymore because I've learned to be ok with things just not being a good fit. The true struggle was back when I would choose to commit to people who ultimately didn't really know me, love me or have my best interests at heart.
In the past I would compromise my needs and ignore my intuition because I just wanted to be in a relationship so badly. I wanted someone to tell me I was wanted, loved, worthy and important.
I would ignore the red...
After my last blog on How To Date (and fall in love with) Yourself In 4 Steps I got a lot of emails from people who were either in unhappy relationships or had just ended one and were feeling a lot of despair and pain.
It broke my heart to read those messages...not out of pity but out of empathy. I was instantly transported back to the girl who just 4 months ago couldn't eat, sleep or work because everything that made life familiar and 'safe' was taken away in just a matter of days.
Gut wrenching for us as humans because we're wired to feel our best when we have stability and safety.
There was one email in particular that stood out and transported me back even farther to 8 years ago when I left my fiancé and partner of 6 years.
It's hard to believe that that woman, me, 8 years ago, wanted a family, marriage and a house in suburbia with 4 rooms to fill with children. Things couldn't be more opposite for me now and that woman is such a distant memory I barely...
I've been sharing a bit about my process post-breakup on my Instagram over the past 4 months and I have to say it's been pretty amazing to watch my own transformation after life turned my toy box right over, dumped all my stuff on the floor then said (with an expectant grin on it's face) ... "figure it out sister".
I tried dating a bit at first but it didn't really work (and that's totally fine). So instead of investing my energy into others and dating, I moved into that headspace where I got hyper-vigilant with food, training, let go of drinking and then started to truly design my life.
With the clear space to focus on positive mindset shifts and decide what interactions would bring me the most joy I've zeroed in on a life that is mine, that makes me excited to wake up everyday and feel like if I were to die tomorrow I would die happy. Honestly.
I hear a lot of people complain about feeling disconnected, unhappy and unfulfilled and I...
I've been injured and its affecting my gut health and body composition. Not fun when you're on a workout and nutrition program to do just the opposite.
I've been gaining water weight and haven't been able to workout in days. It brought up a bunch of old gremlins that still appear sometimes when I'm under a great deal of stress.
As a recovered addict I expect these occurrences to happen (addictions rise when under stress) and when they do I follow a series of practices to manage my energy and stay in a positive and self-loving state vs going back to old patterns and addictions.
I talked in depth about my experience with self-hatred and how I manage it here.
I was an abused kid
I developed addictions, anxiety and depression at a young age
I hated myself when I looked in the mirror - Always.
I hated the way I talked, looked, thought, acted, expressed creativity - I literally hated everything about me.
Getting from that...
Last night I crawled into bed with my über eats from Impact Kitchen (I had the lean bowl) and sparkling water and put on "She's Gotta Have It" for the 2nd time (It's so good!! - Spike Lee joint!)
Nola, the main character, is a polyamorous, feminist and artist from Brooklyn, who owns her power and is on a self-love journey one can only hope to experience.
She's unapologetic of her art, femininity, human rights and sexuality and I'm basically in love with her lol (serious girl crush anyway).
She reminded me that the relationship with Self, is the moat decadent one available to us.
We can learn to love ourselves in such a deep way that it can create such gratitude for being alive - a fulfilment that no one else can provide us (Though, I don't have kids so I can't speak to that experience).
True self love. What does that look like?
Well, I've been peeling that onion and am getting really excited about what the core looks like...Here's how I've been channeling...
Everyone is looking for ONE thing they can do to help shift their body into the one they've always dreamed of.
Is it going gluten free? Maybe.
Is it reducing your carb intake? Potentially.
Is it finally kicking that sugar addiction you've been struggling with for years? Could be!
No matter what comes up in the results of your Fit Genes test or what shows up in your personalized nutrition protocol, all that matters is one thing:
You have to do what it tells you to do.
I say that with pure understanding and empathy if you haven't done what your healthy friend, past coach or parent who recently went keto and has lost 50 lbs has told you to do.
We often procrastinate or think "There's no way that one thing is going to change my body composition".
How do you know that though? Until you try.
I have recently gone through the most incredible body transformation I've ever experienced. I've been lean and muscular in the past,...
K, full disclosure - I just got dumped. Like literally, just. And it hurts, and it sucks and all of the horrible things that come along with your reptilian brain reacting to 'abandonment' and rejection.
Not super fun.
Wanna know what is fun though? Getting. Over. It.
I wouldn't have been saying this just 3 short days ago but as my mama promised me every day gets better and more clarity appears with each conversation and rising sun.
The details, ins and outs and who's 'responsible' are irrelevant for this blog's purpose. That would just be gossip and probably an attempt to clear pain via my blog.
This...this is about speaking about the steps that a no bullshit, conscious and self-loving woman takes to mend a broken heart and move forward with more wisdom, more conviction, less unnecessary heart-ache and come out on TOP!
1. Call every person you know
Literally call every person you know who can hold space for you in the way you need them to....
If you were to write a list of all of the things you have planned in each day then take a step back and ask "Can any one human seriously keep up with all of this?" - what would your answer be?
If it's "yes", great! You're in a good groove.
If it's "no", I like your honesty and that place of honesty and awareness is where you can make some really positive changes for yourself.
I've listed a few reasons that I know to be potential self-sabotage like behaviour that keeps people stuck and not achieving their goals in the gym (and kitchen!).
1. Letting self-limiting beliefs fly under the radar
I've listed this one first because I think it's the most important thing to address yet often isn't. Addressing self-limiting beliefs takes a strong sense of self-awareness and willingness to monitor your thoughts...Practicing mindfulness for example is one way to do this.
Mindfulness has been the most powerful tool in my tool box to stay calm, in...
Let's be real...It's January 9th 2018 and everyone's about a week or so into the whole New Year New Me vibe ammi right?
Damn straight I'm right! It's all I hear in the beginning of the new year and trust me, I get it.
But what happens when you're a week or two into your new fitness regime, you're meal planning, pooping great, have tons of energy and then .... crickets.
The excitement is gone, you've worn all of your new workout gear at least once already and you know everyone in the gym at this point. Boredom sets in!
HOW DO YOU KEEP WORKING OUT A CONSISTENT COMMITMENT? right?
I hear you. Me too! (Not kidding).
I've been in love with fitness since I can remember. I literally came out of the womb doing a bicep curl lol
My idols growing up were Linda Hamilton and Arnold Schwarzenegger. I drew pictures of them with muscles and dreamed of one day becoming a fitness competitor. At the age of 15 I called down to the US and asked the ISSA if I could become a certified trainer and they...
Here we are. December 2017. We're about to enter another year where things will evolve, including our DNA. We are changing as humans by putting so much pressure on our bodies, inner-selves and the environment. If you sit back and reflect on what has happened over the past 117 years, can you imagine what's in store for the planet over the next 100? I personally can't and I have a pretty colourful imagination!
With all of this change I feel like a huge amount of the population is in a sense suffocating. We have been designed over thousands of years to feel safe, grounded, loved and worthy based on community and connection. Our tribe was our protection both physically and mentally.
Our tribes' elders would teach us, show us the way. Comfort us when we were in vulnerable places, reprimand us when we stepped out of line. We had a village to help raise a family, teach us about what to expect, how to work through the difficulties, how to eat and what herbs to take to heal.
We had people...
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